I need a 12-step program to keep me out of Bill Eagle's nasty website!

(St. Helens Update barb from Smooth Operator 8/19/08)
In response to Jay Henry's letter of 8.7, which really cracked me up, let me respond by saying that maybe Jay should take a little of his own advise, and research. Last time i checked the city charter says you only have to LIVE in St. Helens city limits for a year prior to holding office. So Hey Jay... You're wrong.. sorry to burst your bubble. Have you been listening to Paul Pulliam again, i hear he wants to run for one of the two positions up for recall. Course, Since it appears that he thinks he is a legend in his own mind, he probably wants to hold them both. at the same time... IN my opinion of course.

I would offer a suggestion, that before you hitch your wagon to that tired horse, YOU do some research!. But then again, you probably already know the dirt, that has been swept under the rug for that past few years, as i hear it may have been you holding the Broom. Nice!.

Hey, while your at it, i dont think we have enough billboards up next to the highway, could you get to work on that? We need more low class urban blight to attract more business our way. Make sure you get the okey dokey from randy and the boys at the boathouse first.. you sure wouldn't like to be on the wrong side of that gravy train now would you?

Smooth Operator


I need to be banned from reading this rag because it does bad things to my blood pressure. But I can't help myself! These are the people who give St. Helens a bad name, not Sally Gump, not Jay Henry, and not Paul Pulliam. And, heaven help me, I always want to take a red pen to these things..........it's the English major in me. I can't decide what grieves me more--the spew or the grammar and spelling errors!

Still, my response is screaming to get out, so:

Dear Smooth: When WAS the last time you "checked" the charter anyway? Let me help you out. Copied directly from the city's charter (which you can find at www.ci.st-helens.or.us):

CHAPTER III
Form of Government
Section 12. Qualification of Officers.
No person shall be eligible for an elective office of the city unless at the time of his election he is a qualified elector within the meaning of the state constitution, is the owner of real property within the corporate limits of the city, and has resided in the city during the 12 months immediately preced­ing the election. The council shall be final judge of the qualifications and election of its own members.

Ok. I feel better now. Breathe. Breathe. By the way, can anyone tell me where the boathouse is? I want to see if Jay gets the poor tired horse to the gravy train before he finds the billboards and whoever is holding that nice broom. Huh? What did I miss here? Is this one of those St. Helens inside jokes?